Seeking a Friend in the Church Pew

This week marked the end of a unique 12-week program at my church that focused on rediscovering our creative selves. And while it was a wonderful, engaging and challenging course, full of lively weekly small-group based discussions about rekindling our inner artists, it became clear to me, week after week, as discussions moved from the parish house to friendly run-ins in the churchyard after Sunday service, to emails and invitations to non-program events and impromptu ride-sharing, that this mostly female group was looking for something beyond this 12-week course - we were looking for friendships. 

It started me thinking about how many of us have wandered into a church on a Sunday morning looking for God but really wanting a friend? And how many of us have avoided going to church because, in a sea of friendly faces, none of those people were our friend? 

I know way too many people who have stopped attending church because they're going through a divorce and are uncomfortable sitting alone in the pew. I know single people who have avoided church altogether because they feel hostility and judgement from those in the pews, but, I'm betting that if they had one solid friend in that church, they would be there every Sunday. And while churches are not responsible for playing friendship yenta, they are getting better at creating experiences wherein organic friendships may form and where personal boundaries are respected - a place beyond the coffee hour. We parishioners must also do our part by recognizing our own friendship needs and being sensitive to those uninterested in or unable to expand their circle to include us, and those on the outside just waiting for a friendly face to appear and hold out their hand in friendship.